This is a blog that should never have to be written. I don’t want to write it. I don’t want to type one single letter of it, not now, not ever. Yet it’s been one year and four months to the damned day that this really awful thing happened, and I can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I need to write about it somewhere.
I’ve never written a blog before. Heck I’ve only even read a sparse entry here and there. I am not a blogger. I arrive here kicking and screaming. I don’t want to do what everybody else is doing. I don’t want to join the crowds clamoring for attention, hoping to have their blogs noticed and read, tweeted about (I don’t tweet either) or reblogged, whatever that even is. Frankly I don’t even care if no one reads this…I guess I just need a place to get this stuff out.
It’s like stuff in my head that I can’t say to anyone…I’ve tried pretty much everything. It’s just too sad, just too horrifying…so if anyone DOES happen to stumble across this blog, let me warn you right now: this is going to be my place to let it all hang out. And let me say right up front, I hate that phrase, “hang in there,” or anything with the word “hang” in it. I’m using it in the title of this blog because it’s time to face the horror…hence my being here. Some of what I imagine I’ll write may be too graphic and too upsetting for the faint of heart. Not today, but maybe in the future. So proceed with caution.
That’s enough for right now. I took the plunge and my heart is already racing. I am not okay.
More later.
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